Oh my gosh!

The rewrite mentioned on my last post has turned out to be a nightmare! In addition to the copy being poorly written, it seems that historical fact outweighed story in the draft I sent my editor for review. I have never been more appreciative of her; she saved me from embarrassing myself had I published what I sent her.

Toallow the reader to become one with my characters would have been difficult, because I bounced all over the place rather than experiencing the story from a limited number of viewpoints. Look below at an example of how NOT to write a scene. It switches POV and the ambiguity with the word they is confusing.

_________________________________________________________________________________ Example 1:

As Ike worked his way into position, Samuel, hiding in the heavy cover, watched as a warrior exited one of the tipis followed closely by a woman. They crossed the open area between shelters, stooped and entered another tipi.

They heard a conversation from inside indicating at least two men were there, while women were jabbered at their entry.

Ike worked his way among the cattails and bulrushes.…


Example 2 is classic for trying too hard to include historical facts in the middle of the story’s narrative, facts that do nothing to move the story along. Again, this causes confusion to the reader and takes away from the story. Written in the POV of a narrator, it does nothing for the story.

Example 2:

As the warriors that were selected to represent their bands changed over time, the victors seemed distributed relatively evenly amongst the bands. Lone Horn himself had earned the honor of last man standing, a record four years in a row, bringing much honor to the Miniconjou band from which he came.

The past three years were won by the Brule warrior, Quaking Aspen. This was the fourth year, and a win would have tied him with the only other man to achieve the feat, Lone Horn, the Miniconjou Chief.

Crazy Horse, representing his Oglala band, ensured his uncle’s ties to the victory, his mother being the sister of Lone Horn.


As embarrassing as it is to show these examples, they serve well to point out the necessity to read, make changes, reread, make changes and repeat the process until you think it is perfect prior to seeking editorial help. I can guarantee, it will not be perfect and the last thing you want is to publish anything that will cause you embarrassment down the road.

If you are looking for an editor, I suggest the lady that has been behind my writing. She is GOOD and she is RElIABLE and she is reasonably priced. AND, she is hiring staff. Her name is Jenifer Quinlan http://historicaleditorial.blogspot.com

No comments (Add your own)

Add a New Comment


Comment Guidelines: No HTML is allowed. Off-topic or inappropriate comments will be edited or deleted. Thanks.